c'mon skinny love, what happend here?

The show on Saturday went well, by the way.
Also played a show with Sad-Eyed Bird on Monday. The more Sad-Eyed shows I play, the worse my hearing loss becomes. Buy more earplugs.

I've been thinking a lot about community, and living simply. Having a monastic mindset. I've been praying for something to happen for so long. For God to take every inch. And even if I haven't be praying as much as a should about it, I am now.

Did it take this for me to move forward? A heartbreak? I thought today about what Mez would say if she had a conversation with me today, or if she met me for the first time today. I mean I guess it doesn't matter.

Do not be defined by your past, do not dwell in it.

THAT'S THE THING!! I'm finally moving forward. Finally coming out of a heartbreak mentality. I'm finally able to write about love and be passionate about social justice and living out the Gospel. All the things that got so put on hold over the last year.

There's a lot of doubt about the future, and if I'll find someone. God's breaking me of the need to be with someone to feel okay about myself. I'm trying to get there. God promised to be my hope and joy and love. I'm trying not to put my hope in another human being, no matter how stunning they look or how they may make me feel.

I'm feeling passionate about things again. It got so hard to feel anything at all over the past year. So this is a big deal.

But to be honest, I have a lot of doubt about myself. I mean everybody does. But are these songs good enough? Can I play them well enough? Will they ring true? Am I good enough?

Is putting school on hold the right thing?

But I don't feel like I need to hide these doubts. I feel like it's part of confessing our sins to one another. Realizing that God is so much more of a big deal than these mistakes and these shortcomings.

I've been thinking a lot about my dad. And how I basically want to be just like him when I grow up. I have so much respect for who he is and how God has healed him in spite of big, big pain. And how he changes the world around him for the better. I want to read the same books that he does and preach from the same soapbox, without any doubt about your calling, because you have the Truth to back you up.

That's the kind of authority I have. Truth.

1 Corinthians 3:18-23

18Let no man deceive himself If any man among you thinks that he is wise in this age, he must become foolish, so that he may become wise.

19For the wisdom of this world is foolishness before God For it is written, "He is THE ONE WHO CATCHES THE WISE IN THEIR CRAFTINESS";

20and again, "THE LORD KNOWS THE REASONINGS of the wise, THAT THEY ARE USELESS."

21So then let no one boast in men For all things belong to you,

22whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or things present or things to come; all things belong to you,

23and you belong to Christ; and Christ belongs to God.

So I have no doubt in my mind about my worth, about who I am. I am Christ's and Christ is God's. All things are mind. So anyways. I love how God just talks me out of my fears and doubts.

I'm praying that I am desperately God's. Because I can't be any other way. I pray that he has my decisions. My songs, my recordings. My hopes and my dreams and my relationships.