I saw Jimmy Eat World play the entire Clarity album from start to finish.
I'm thinking about coming up with a name to play under. My songs feel bigger than just a solo project. I'm trying to find a way to say that without sounding pretentious. I'm thinking of playing under St. Albans. it's got a nice ring to it, and it reminds me of home. I really wanna do an indie-rock band. I've got like 15 different songs right now to choose from. I'm thinking do a rock record then a folk EP.
2.26.2009
2.17.2009
2.07.2009
a new song and an old song.
The Light is Taking Me to Pieces
i look upward and the moon passes by
it strikes through me and i'm glad i'm alive
consequences of the fool i have been
but after darkest night the sun rushes in
i look upward and the moon passes by
it strikes through me and i'm glad i'm alive
consequences of the fool i have been
but after darkest night the sun rushes in
I wish I wasn't a wreck since you left
since you left
I wish I wasn't a wreck since you left
since you leftbarely making ends meet and it's dragging me down
it never seems enough, it's the hardest part, and i sink to the ground
I made you home, I made you the spot in the back of my heart
Please don't start, please don't startI wish I wasn't a wreck since you left
since you left
I wish I wasn't a wreck since you left
since you left
This is Love
This is Love
i was trying to remember the last thing you said
as you walked up the stairwell that led to your bed
and i laughed all alone
at the words never mentioned but often rehearsed
like some expectant mother with only stillbirth
and the sun rose
i was walking aimlessly
i was lonely
and the sun rose
just for me
i was under the incline and under your spell
and those halfhearted love songs, i never sang well,
i will sing all alone
i wish you'd come down that stairwell and take me by the hand
and we would shout out the darkness, sing as loud as we can,
"this is love, i will never be alone."
this is love, i will never be alone.
i was walking aimlessly
i was lonely
and the sun rose
just for me
as you walked up the stairwell that led to your bed
and i laughed all alone
at the words never mentioned but often rehearsed
like some expectant mother with only stillbirth
and the sun rose
i was walking aimlessly
i was lonely
and the sun rose
just for me
i was under the incline and under your spell
and those halfhearted love songs, i never sang well,
i will sing all alone
i wish you'd come down that stairwell and take me by the hand
and we would shout out the darkness, sing as loud as we can,
"this is love, i will never be alone."
this is love, i will never be alone.
i was walking aimlessly
i was lonely
and the sun rose
just for me
I wish I wasn't a wreck since you left
since you left
I wish I wasn't a wreck since you left
since you left
1.27.2009
And they told me on the front lawn, I'm sorry I couldn't go.
I practiced with Aaron and Tim tonight. It's sounding really good. Narrowed down the set.
Much credit to Aaron Andrews for this motivational rant:
If you have a dream, then follow it. If you have a passion, then pursue it. If you want to spend the rest of your life living in poverty, doing what you love, doing something to change the world for the better, then please, for the love of God, do it! I see so many from my generation and our parents generation spend time maintaining rather than growing. Don't get caught up in your own insecurities or your own fears or hurts. Right the wrongs around you. Make beautiful things.
It still hurts and it's still scary, but it's good. It's the happiest I've ever been.
It was really good to see Ben Mauch this weekend. Listening to him play piano in the hospital chapel was one of the best moments of my life.
My goal is to have the majority of my album recorded by the end of February. I've got all the songs I want to do plus some extra. Most of it's going to be really folk influenced, which is exciting.
Also, Amelia Jay is absolutely the best band in the world.
I got really encouraged by an epic old man I talk to on the phone today. He was just really encouraging and appreciative.
- Folksplosion
- B&T Strike Again
- Faded Photograph
- Stars
- Casey Stocksmith
- On My Back (Ward Hiney)
- Thailand
- How to Steal Third, But Never Make it Home
Much credit to Aaron Andrews for this motivational rant:
If you have a dream, then follow it. If you have a passion, then pursue it. If you want to spend the rest of your life living in poverty, doing what you love, doing something to change the world for the better, then please, for the love of God, do it! I see so many from my generation and our parents generation spend time maintaining rather than growing. Don't get caught up in your own insecurities or your own fears or hurts. Right the wrongs around you. Make beautiful things.
It still hurts and it's still scary, but it's good. It's the happiest I've ever been.
It was really good to see Ben Mauch this weekend. Listening to him play piano in the hospital chapel was one of the best moments of my life.
My goal is to have the majority of my album recorded by the end of February. I've got all the songs I want to do plus some extra. Most of it's going to be really folk influenced, which is exciting.
Also, Amelia Jay is absolutely the best band in the world.
I got really encouraged by an epic old man I talk to on the phone today. He was just really encouraging and appreciative.
1.21.2009
he said "son, you're still young, and you always jump the gun."
Here's what I'm thinking:
Did I mention I'm stoked?
- Folksplosion
- B&T Strike Again
- Thailand
- Faded Photograph
- Stars
- Leap Year (Maria Taylor)
- Casey Stocksmith
- On My Back (Ward Hiney)
- How to Steal Third, But Never Make it Home
- Love and Grace
- Under a Tree, Wrapped in Blankets
Did I mention I'm stoked?
1.13.2009
so what does that make me?
I've got a show at the end of this month.
brandon hayes.
jeremy miller.
ben sooy.
saturday, 31 january. 7pm.
the mezzanine gallery and cafe.
720 commerce street. lynchburg.
cover charge: $3.
brandon hayes.
jeremy miller.
ben sooy.
saturday, 31 january. 7pm.
the mezzanine gallery and cafe.
720 commerce street. lynchburg.
cover charge: $3.
1.12.2009
there's hope for Job like a cut down tree
Job 14
7 "For there is hope for a tree,
When it is cut down, that it will sprout again,
And its shoots will not fail.
8 "Though its roots grow old in the ground
And its stump dies in the dry soil,
9 At the scent of water it will flourish
And put forth sprigs like a plant.
John 12
23 And Jesus answered them, saying, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.
24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.
25 "He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in the world will keep it to life eternal.
26 "If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.
"When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship
I've been thinking about what that actually means. I've actually been struggling with it, really. Ever since my friend Ben has been sick, I've been reading through Job. It's been hard because I really feel for Job. I don't really know what to say about it yet. I'm in a really good place where I know everything is where it's supposed to be. But it's still a struggle.
The more I live and play music, the more I know this is where I'm supposed to be. Amelia Jay played a show in Richmond yesterday, and it was the best. So great to play all together. We're almost halfway finished with the recording of the album as well, and I couldn't be happier about it.
I think I'm playing a solo show at the end of the month. I'm really excited to get some new stuff out there.
1.09.2009
discover you 2.0... maybe.
my chest is aching
there's a hole in my heart
there's a hole in my heart
Lord, can you hear me?
you're a voice in the dark
you're a voice in the dark
life's spoken in whisper
gathered mist, then it's gone
gathered mist, then it's gone
a brief breath, a short step
a heart song, a promise kept
Chorus.
my chest is aching
there's a hole in my heart
there's a hole in my heart
Lord, can you hear me?
you're a voice in the dark
you're a voice in the dark
Bridge.
Chorus.
there's a hole in my heart
there's a hole in my heart
Lord, can you hear me?
you're a voice in the dark
you're a voice in the dark
life's spoken in whisper
gathered mist, then it's gone
gathered mist, then it's gone
a brief breath, a short step
a heart song, a promise kept
Chorus.
my chest is aching
there's a hole in my heart
there's a hole in my heart
Lord, can you hear me?
you're a voice in the dark
you're a voice in the dark
Bridge.
Chorus.
This week I got to hang out with the guys in Wrench in the Works. Which was awesome. Very, very encouraging.
Amelia Jay is starting to record this week. We've got ten songs, and I'm stoked about each and every one of them. Pray for Ben Mauch, please. He's the drummer for Amelia Jay, and he's been diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. Such a great guy.
Also, I am really into Crime In Stereo.
Here's some verses from Job 7:
17 “What are people, that you should make so much of us,
that you should think of us so often?
18 For you examine us every morning
and test us every moment.
19 Why won’t you leave me alone,
at least long enough for me to swallow!
20 If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
O watcher of all humanity? Why make me your target?
Am I a burden to you?
21 Why not just forgive my sin
and take away my guilt?
For soon I will lie down in the dust and die.
When you look for me, I will be gone.”
Also:
Job 9
Job’s Third Speech: A Response to Bildad
1 Then Job spoke again:
2 “Yes, I know all this is true in principle.
But how can a person be declared innocent in God’s sight?
3 If someone wanted to take God to court,
would it be possible to answer him even once in a thousand times?
4 For God is so wise and so mighty.
Who has ever challenged him successfully?
5 “Without warning, he moves the mountains,
overturning them in his anger.
6 He shakes the earth from its place,
and its foundations tremble.
7 If he commands it, the sun won’t rise
and the stars won’t shine.
8 He alone has spread out the heavens
and marches on the waves of the sea.
9 He made all the stars—the Bear and Orion,
the Pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky.
10 He does great things too marvelous to understand.
He performs countless miracles.
11 “Yet when he comes near, I cannot see him.
When he moves by, I do not see him go.
12 If he snatches someone in death, who can stop him?
Who dares to ask, ‘What are you doing?’
13 And God does not restrain his anger.
Even the monsters of the sea are crushed beneath his feet.
14 “So who am I, that I should try to answer God
or even reason with him?
15 Even if I were right, I would have no defense.
I could only plead for mercy.
16 And even if I summoned him and he responded,
I’m not sure he would listen to me.
17 For he attacks me with a storm
and repeatedly wounds me without cause.
18 He will not let me catch my breath,
but fills me instead with bitter sorrows.
19 If it’s a question of strength, he’s the strong one.
If it’s a matter of justice, who dares to summon him to court?
20 Though I am innocent, my own mouth would pronounce me guilty.
Though I am blameless, it would prove me wicked.
21 “I am innocent,
but it makes no difference to me—
I despise my life.
22 Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God.
That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’
23 When a plague sweeps through,
he laughs at the death of the innocent.
24 The whole earth is in the hands of the wicked,
and God blinds the eyes of the judges.
If he’s not the one who does it, who is?
25 “My life passes more swiftly than a runner.
It flees away without a glimpse of happiness.
26 It disappears like a swift papyrus boat,
like an eagle swooping down on its prey.
27 If I decided to forget my complaints,
to put away my sad face and be cheerful,
28 I would still dread all the pain,
for I know you will not find me innocent, O God.
29 Whatever happens, I will be found guilty.
So what’s the use of trying?
30 Even if I were to wash myself with soap
and clean my hands with lye,
31 you would plunge me into a muddy ditch,
and my own filthy clothing would hate me.
32 “God is not a mortal like me,
so I cannot argue with him or take him to trial.
33 If only there were a mediator between us,
someone who could bring us together.
34 The mediator could make God stop beating me,
and I would no longer live in terror of his punishment.
35 Then I could speak to him without fear,
but I cannot do that in my own strength.
Job is crying out for Christ, and I think that's amazing.
Amelia Jay is starting to record this week. We've got ten songs, and I'm stoked about each and every one of them. Pray for Ben Mauch, please. He's the drummer for Amelia Jay, and he's been diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. Such a great guy.
Also, I am really into Crime In Stereo.
Here's some verses from Job 7:
17 “What are people, that you should make so much of us,
that you should think of us so often?
18 For you examine us every morning
and test us every moment.
19 Why won’t you leave me alone,
at least long enough for me to swallow!
20 If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
O watcher of all humanity? Why make me your target?
Am I a burden to you?
21 Why not just forgive my sin
and take away my guilt?
For soon I will lie down in the dust and die.
When you look for me, I will be gone.”
Also:
Job 9
Job’s Third Speech: A Response to Bildad
1 Then Job spoke again:
2 “Yes, I know all this is true in principle.
But how can a person be declared innocent in God’s sight?
3 If someone wanted to take God to court,
would it be possible to answer him even once in a thousand times?
4 For God is so wise and so mighty.
Who has ever challenged him successfully?
5 “Without warning, he moves the mountains,
overturning them in his anger.
6 He shakes the earth from its place,
and its foundations tremble.
7 If he commands it, the sun won’t rise
and the stars won’t shine.
8 He alone has spread out the heavens
and marches on the waves of the sea.
9 He made all the stars—the Bear and Orion,
the Pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky.
10 He does great things too marvelous to understand.
He performs countless miracles.
11 “Yet when he comes near, I cannot see him.
When he moves by, I do not see him go.
12 If he snatches someone in death, who can stop him?
Who dares to ask, ‘What are you doing?’
13 And God does not restrain his anger.
Even the monsters of the sea are crushed beneath his feet.
14 “So who am I, that I should try to answer God
or even reason with him?
15 Even if I were right, I would have no defense.
I could only plead for mercy.
16 And even if I summoned him and he responded,
I’m not sure he would listen to me.
17 For he attacks me with a storm
and repeatedly wounds me without cause.
18 He will not let me catch my breath,
but fills me instead with bitter sorrows.
19 If it’s a question of strength, he’s the strong one.
If it’s a matter of justice, who dares to summon him to court?
20 Though I am innocent, my own mouth would pronounce me guilty.
Though I am blameless, it would prove me wicked.
21 “I am innocent,
but it makes no difference to me—
I despise my life.
22 Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God.
That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’
23 When a plague sweeps through,
he laughs at the death of the innocent.
24 The whole earth is in the hands of the wicked,
and God blinds the eyes of the judges.
If he’s not the one who does it, who is?
25 “My life passes more swiftly than a runner.
It flees away without a glimpse of happiness.
26 It disappears like a swift papyrus boat,
like an eagle swooping down on its prey.
27 If I decided to forget my complaints,
to put away my sad face and be cheerful,
28 I would still dread all the pain,
for I know you will not find me innocent, O God.
29 Whatever happens, I will be found guilty.
So what’s the use of trying?
30 Even if I were to wash myself with soap
and clean my hands with lye,
31 you would plunge me into a muddy ditch,
and my own filthy clothing would hate me.
32 “God is not a mortal like me,
so I cannot argue with him or take him to trial.
33 If only there were a mediator between us,
someone who could bring us together.
34 The mediator could make God stop beating me,
and I would no longer live in terror of his punishment.
35 Then I could speak to him without fear,
but I cannot do that in my own strength.
Job is crying out for Christ, and I think that's amazing.
1.04.2009
12.31.2008
3 “In the past you have encouraged many people;
you have strengthened those who were weak.
4 Your words have supported those who were falling;
you encouraged those with shaky knees.
5 But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart.
You are terrified when it touches you.
6 Doesn’t your reverence for God give you confidence?
Doesn’t your life of integrity give you hope?
you have strengthened those who were weak.
4 Your words have supported those who were falling;
you encouraged those with shaky knees.
5 But now when trouble strikes, you lose heart.
You are terrified when it touches you.
6 Doesn’t your reverence for God give you confidence?
Doesn’t your life of integrity give you hope?
12.24.2008
I'll pay for you, anytime.
You know who I miss? The Sooybeans, specifically Jeff Nickles, Ward Hiney, and Kole Shannon.
12.23.2008
Lord, Lord, the fools we are as men.
1 John 4:7-21
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
I was talking to a few of my friends about heartbreak. Specifically, Heartbreak that comes from loving, and being disapointed. Film promises, "the greatest thing you'll ever learn is to be loved and love in return." Sometimes it just dosen't happen right away or at all. At least romantically. Sometimes people just don't recipricate the same way, or treat you like a loved one should be treated. Sometimes you're the one letting your loved one down.
This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.
How do you press on, past that heartbreak, and keep showing love? When is it appropriate to let go of feelings, because your love is a lost cause? How can we apply the fact that Christ loves completely unlovable and ugly people and keeps on loveing to our loves?
I don't know fully how to answer that really. But maybe it's just that no matter where I am or what I'm doing, my job is to love unconditionally. No matter what relationship I'm in, I'm called to love that person and seek that person's best. And when you find the person that's able to do that same for you, maybe that's what love is in the romantic sense. You know, sprinkled with physical attraction and butterflies and the decision to stay faithful and all that.
It's just so hard to find it. It's hard to be it.
because he needs her just like he needs medicine
I really like Ryan Adams. He's written some of my favorite records and favorite songs. So here's the track list to a mixtape I made a long time ago, maybe even last year. By no means is this a best of, or even my favorite songs. But this is what made the cd that always helps me remember there's still hope after heartbreak.
1. Oh My God, Whatever, Etc. (from Easy Tiger)
2. When Will You Come Back Home? (from Cold Roses)
3. So Alive (from Rock N Roll)
4. Rock N Roll (from Rock N Roll)
5. Wild Flowers (from Gold)
6. Always On My Mind (a b-side, and even though this is a cover, I think it's a dang good song)
7. The Hardest Part (from Jacksonville City Nights)
8. Oh My Sweet Carolina (from Heartbreaker)
9. This House Is Not for Sale (from Love is Hell)
10. Political Scientist (from Love is Hell)
11. In My Time of Need (from Heartbreaker)
12. Come Pick Me Up (from Heartbreaker)
13. I See Monsters (from Love is Hell)
14. Call Me on Your Way Back Home (from Heartbreaker)
15. The Fools We Are As Men (a b-side, from the Gold sessions, I believe)
16. Starlite Diner (from 29)
17. How Do You Keep Love Alive? (from Cold Roses)
18. The Shadowlands (from Love is Hell)
19. Elizabeth, You Were Born To Play That Part (from 29)
I really like heartbreak songs and bittersweet love songs. So that may be why I picked these out of his discography. I haven't had a chance to listen to the new Cardinals record yet, but that's something I plan to do soon.
I'm so epically broke. Money's gonna be really tight for the next few months, and possibly for the foreseeable future. I've got this feeling of unrest, but that may just be because of money. Will you say to me, a little rain's gonna come, when the sky can't offer none to me?
1. Oh My God, Whatever, Etc. (from Easy Tiger)
2. When Will You Come Back Home? (from Cold Roses)
3. So Alive (from Rock N Roll)
4. Rock N Roll (from Rock N Roll)
5. Wild Flowers (from Gold)
6. Always On My Mind (a b-side, and even though this is a cover, I think it's a dang good song)
7. The Hardest Part (from Jacksonville City Nights)
8. Oh My Sweet Carolina (from Heartbreaker)
9. This House Is Not for Sale (from Love is Hell)
10. Political Scientist (from Love is Hell)
11. In My Time of Need (from Heartbreaker)
12. Come Pick Me Up (from Heartbreaker)
13. I See Monsters (from Love is Hell)
14. Call Me on Your Way Back Home (from Heartbreaker)
15. The Fools We Are As Men (a b-side, from the Gold sessions, I believe)
16. Starlite Diner (from 29)
17. How Do You Keep Love Alive? (from Cold Roses)
18. The Shadowlands (from Love is Hell)
19. Elizabeth, You Were Born To Play That Part (from 29)
I really like heartbreak songs and bittersweet love songs. So that may be why I picked these out of his discography. I haven't had a chance to listen to the new Cardinals record yet, but that's something I plan to do soon.
I'm so epically broke. Money's gonna be really tight for the next few months, and possibly for the foreseeable future. I've got this feeling of unrest, but that may just be because of money. Will you say to me, a little rain's gonna come, when the sky can't offer none to me?
12.10.2008
how to steal third, but never make it home.
Cigarette and coffee stains
on all my clothes. And conversations
turn to how my mouth is bleeding.
My friends were here, they all are leaving.
I wish I could believe
in all you say to me.
Words come out so cheep when you're enamored.
My cup has turned a cola color
from tobacco and dirty water.
It's new years eve, the ball is dropping.
God, I feel my heart is stopping.
I wish I could believe
in all you say to me.
But, words come out so cheep when you're enamored.
on all my clothes. And conversations
turn to how my mouth is bleeding.
My friends were here, they all are leaving.
I wish I could believe
in all you say to me.
Words come out so cheep when you're enamored.
My cup has turned a cola color
from tobacco and dirty water.
It's new years eve, the ball is dropping.
God, I feel my heart is stopping.
I wish I could believe
in all you say to me.
But, words come out so cheep when you're enamored.
12.06.2008
John 10:14-15
and only he who was troubled shall find rest,
and only he who descends into the nether world shall rescue his beloved,
and only he who unsheathes his knife shall be given Isaac again.
- Kierkegaard, Fear and Trembling
and only he who descends into the nether world shall rescue his beloved,
and only he who unsheathes his knife shall be given Isaac again.
- Kierkegaard, Fear and Trembling
I think the point is that it's hard. And that it's supposed to be hard.
The following may be a bit complicated.
Maybe, and let's suppose this for a moment, that God wants my absolute attention. Suppose He knows better for me than I do myself. Suppose in order to get me to listen to Him, he has to break my legs.
So I sit with legs broken and mangled, and I have two choices: believe that God is unjust, and that he has no right to take from me what is so valuable to me, seemingly essential to me; or I can believe that God actually has my best intentions at heart. And suppose that He, this same God who has broken my legs, starts to hold me up and nurse me back to health, if only I would let Him.
It's only when a seed dies that it starts to grow and becomes something beautiful. It's such a nice thing to say but it can suck when you're the seed. Reading the scriptures scares the shit out of me sometimes. I think it was Augustine who said he felt like he was being pursued by his Holy Adversary.
But that dying to the self is what Christ did. So I can't call God on asking more out of me than He requires of Himself. Look at the gospels. Pain. Sacrificial Love. He gave us the example on how to lose yourself in order to find yourself.
I keep learning the context of this passage:
Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless – it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The alternative to tragedy, is damnation. The only place outside of Heaven where you can be perfectly safe from all the dangers and perturbations of love is Hell.
Conversely, when love becomes a god, it becomes a demon. Love ceases to be a demon only when it ceases to be a god; which of course can be re-stated in the form “begins to be a demon the moment it begins to be a god”. This balance seems to me an indispensable safeguard. If we ignore it the truth that God is love may slyly come to mean for us the converse, that love is God.
- Lewis, The Four Loves
So love, the concept of love (or maybe more accurately, the security that comes from being loved and loved in return by a woman), became a god and then became a demon. So maybe God needed to shake me up a bit and take away all my defenses, take away what made me feel secure. In the same way that if my legs make me stray, the best thing is to break them. If your heart offends thee, pluck it out.
God if it were only possible. I give you my heart and my hurt and my heartbreak and my desires.
Pray for Mike McSherry if you think about it. I love that kid so much.
There's so much I want to say.
12.04.2008
11.29.2008
Genesis 22:1-19
Abraham’s Faith Tested
1 Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called.“Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.”
2 “Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”
3 The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son, Isaac. Then he chopped wood for a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day of their journey, Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 “Stay here with the donkey,” Abraham told the servants. “The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back.”
6 So Abraham placed the wood for the burnt offering on Isaac’s shoulders, while he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them walked on together, 7 Isaac turned to Abraham and said, “Father?”
“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.
“We have the fire and the wood,” the boy said, “but where is the sheep for the burnt offering?”
8 “God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering, my son,” Abraham answered. And they both walked on together.
9 When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. 10 And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. 11 At that moment the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”
“Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!”
12 “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.”
13 Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. 14 Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the Lord will provide”). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”
15 Then the angel of the Lord called again to Abraham from heaven. 16 “This is what the Lord says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld even your son, your only son, I swear by my own name that 17 I will certainly bless you. I will multiply your descendants[a] beyond number, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies. 18 And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed—all because you have obeyed me.”
19 Then they returned to the servants and traveled back to Beersheba, where Abraham continued to live.
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