And they told me on the front lawn, I'm sorry I couldn't go.

I practiced with Aaron and Tim tonight. It's sounding really good. Narrowed down the set.

1. Folksplosion
2. B&T Strike Again
3. Faded Photograph
4. Stars
5. Casey Stocksmith
6. On My Back (Ward Hiney)
7. Thailand
   
8. How to Steal Third, But Never Make it Home

Much credit to Aaron Andrews for this motivational rant:

If you have a dream, then follow it. If you have a passion, then pursue it. If you want to spend the rest of your life living in poverty, doing what you love, doing something to change the world for the better, then please, for the love of God, do it! I see so many from my generation and our parents generation spend time maintaining rather than growing. Don't get caught up in your own insecurities or your own fears or hurts. Right the wrongs around you. Make beautiful things.

It still hurts and it's still scary, but it's good. It's the happiest I've ever been.


It was really good to see Ben Mauch this weekend. Listening to him play piano in the hospital chapel was one of the best moments of my life.

My goal is to have the majority of my album recorded by the end of February. I've got all the songs I want to do plus some extra. Most of it's going to be really folk influenced, which is exciting.

Also, Amelia Jay is absolutely the best band in the world.

I got really encouraged by an epic old man I talk to on the phone today. He was just really encouraging and appreciative.

he said "son, you're still young, and you always jump the gun."

Here's what I'm thinking:

1. Folksplosion
2. B&T Strike Again
3. Thailand
4. Faded Photograph
5. Stars
6. Leap Year (Maria Taylor)
7. Casey Stocksmith
8. On My Back (Ward Hiney)
9. How to Steal Third, But Never Make it Home
10. Love and Grace
11. Under a Tree, Wrapped in Blankets

I'm very stoked. It's going to be a reunion of sorts, because Aaron and Tim are going to be playing on a number of songs at the show. Also, I'm going to see Ben Mauch this weekend. So stoked.

Did I mention I'm stoked?

so what does that make me?

I've got a show at the end of this month.

brandon hayes.
jeremy miller.
ben sooy.
saturday, 31 january. 7pm.
the mezzanine gallery and cafe.
720 commerce street. lynchburg.
cover charge: $3.

there's hope for Job like a cut down tree

Job 14

7 "For there is hope for a tree,

When it is cut down, that it will sprout again,

And its shoots will not fail.

8 "Though its roots grow old in the ground

And its stump dies in the dry soil,

9 At the scent of water it will flourish

And put forth sprigs like a plant.

John 12

23 And Jesus answered them, saying, "The hour has come for the Son of Man to be glorified.

24 "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains alone; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.

25 "He who loves his life loses it, and he who hates his life in the world will keep it to life eternal. 

26 "If anyone serves Me, he must follow Me; and where I am, there My servant will be also; if anyone serves Me, the Father will honor him.

 

"When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die." - Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Cost of Discipleship

I've been thinking about what that actually means. I've actually been struggling with it, really. Ever since my friend Ben has been sick, I've been reading through Job. It's been hard because I really feel for Job. I don't really know what to say about it yet. I'm in a really good place where I know everything is where it's supposed to be. But it's still a struggle. 

The more I live and play music, the more I know this is where I'm supposed to be. Amelia Jay played a show in Richmond yesterday, and it was the best. So great to play all together. We're almost halfway finished with the recording of the album as well, and I couldn't be happier about it. 

I think I'm playing a solo show at the end of the month. I'm really excited to get some new stuff out there. 

discover you 2.0... maybe.

my chest is aching
there's a hole in my heart
there's a hole in my heart

Lord, can you hear me?
you're a voice in the dark
you're a voice in the dark

life's spoken in whisper
gathered mist, then it's gone
gathered mist, then it's gone

a brief breath, a short step
a heart song, a promise kept

Chorus.

my chest is aching
there's a hole in my heart
there's a hole in my heart

Lord, can you hear me?
you're a voice in the dark
you're a voice in the dark

Bridge.

Chorus.

This week I got to hang out with the guys in Wrench in the Works. Which was awesome. Very, very encouraging.

Amelia Jay is starting to record this week. We've got ten songs, and I'm stoked about each and every one of them. Pray for Ben Mauch, please. He's the drummer for Amelia Jay, and he's been diagnosed with Testicular Cancer. Such a great guy.

Also, I am really into Crime In Stereo.

Here's some verses from Job 7:

17 “What are people, that you should make so much of us,
that you should think of us so often?
18 For you examine us every morning
and test us every moment.
19 Why won’t you leave me alone,
at least long enough for me to swallow!
20 If I have sinned, what have I done to you,
O watcher of all humanity? Why make me your target?
Am I a burden to you?
21 Why not just forgive my sin
and take away my guilt?
For soon I will lie down in the dust and die.
When you look for me, I will be gone.”


Also:

Job 9
Job’s Third Speech: A Response to Bildad

1 Then Job spoke again:
2 “Yes, I know all this is true in principle.
But how can a person be declared innocent in God’s sight?
3 If someone wanted to take God to court,
would it be possible to answer him even once in a thousand times?
4 For God is so wise and so mighty.
Who has ever challenged him successfully?

5 “Without warning, he moves the mountains,
overturning them in his anger.
6 He shakes the earth from its place,
and its foundations tremble.
7 If he commands it, the sun won’t rise
and the stars won’t shine.
8 He alone has spread out the heavens
and marches on the waves of the sea.
9 He made all the stars—the Bear and Orion,
the Pleiades and the constellations of the southern sky.
10 He does great things too marvelous to understand.
He performs countless miracles.

11 “Yet when he comes near, I cannot see him.
When he moves by, I do not see him go.
12 If he snatches someone in death, who can stop him?
Who dares to ask, ‘What are you doing?’
13 And God does not restrain his anger.
Even the monsters of the sea are crushed beneath his feet.

14 “So who am I, that I should try to answer God
or even reason with him?
15 Even if I were right, I would have no defense.
I could only plead for mercy.
16 And even if I summoned him and he responded,
I’m not sure he would listen to me.
17 For he attacks me with a storm
and repeatedly wounds me without cause.
18 He will not let me catch my breath,
but fills me instead with bitter sorrows.
19 If it’s a question of strength, he’s the strong one.
If it’s a matter of justice, who dares to summon him to court?
20 Though I am innocent, my own mouth would pronounce me guilty.
Though I am blameless, it would prove me wicked.

21 “I am innocent,
but it makes no difference to me—
I despise my life.
22 Innocent or wicked, it is all the same to God.
That’s why I say, ‘He destroys both the blameless and the wicked.’
23 When a plague sweeps through,
he laughs at the death of the innocent.
24 The whole earth is in the hands of the wicked,
and God blinds the eyes of the judges.
If he’s not the one who does it, who is?

25 “My life passes more swiftly than a runner.
It flees away without a glimpse of happiness.
26 It disappears like a swift papyrus boat,
like an eagle swooping down on its prey.
27 If I decided to forget my complaints,
to put away my sad face and be cheerful,
28 I would still dread all the pain,
for I know you will not find me innocent, O God.
29 Whatever happens, I will be found guilty.
So what’s the use of trying?
30 Even if I were to wash myself with soap
and clean my hands with lye,
31 you would plunge me into a muddy ditch,
and my own filthy clothing would hate me.

32 “God is not a mortal like me,
so I cannot argue with him or take him to trial.
33 If only there were a mediator between us,
someone who could bring us together.
34 The mediator could make God stop beating me,
and I would no longer live in terror of his punishment.
35 Then I could speak to him without fear,
but I cannot do that in my own strength.


Job is crying out for Christ, and I think that's amazing.

remember this in the morning

I don't know what's wrong with me.

I swear I'm still myself, but just a bit more serious.