Genesis 22:1-19

Abraham’s Faith Tested

1 Some time later, God tested Abraham’s faith. “Abraham!” God called.

“Yes,” he replied. “Here I am.”

2 “Take your son, your only son—yes, Isaac, whom you love so much—and go to the land of Moriah. Go and sacrifice him as a burnt offering on one of the mountains, which I will show you.”

3 The next morning Abraham got up early. He saddled his donkey and took two of his servants with him, along with his son, Isaac. Then he chopped wood for a fire for a burnt offering and set out for the place God had told him about. 4 On the third day of their journey, Abraham looked up and saw the place in the distance. 5 “Stay here with the donkey,” Abraham told the servants. “The boy and I will travel a little farther. We will worship there, and then we will come right back.”

6 So Abraham placed the wood for the burnt offering on Isaac’s shoulders, while he himself carried the fire and the knife. As the two of them walked on together, 7 Isaac turned to Abraham and said, “Father?”

“Yes, my son?” Abraham replied.

“We have the fire and the wood,” the boy said, “but where is the sheep for the burnt offering?”

8 “God will provide a sheep for the burnt offering, my son,” Abraham answered. And they both walked on together.

9 When they arrived at the place where God had told him to go, Abraham built an altar and arranged the wood on it. Then he tied his son, Isaac, and laid him on the altar on top of the wood. 10 And Abraham picked up the knife to kill his son as a sacrifice. 11 At that moment the angel of the Lord called to him from heaven, “Abraham! Abraham!”

“Yes,” Abraham replied. “Here I am!”

12 “Don’t lay a hand on the boy!” the angel said. “Do not hurt him in any way, for now I know that you truly fear God. You have not withheld from me even your son, your only son.”

13 Then Abraham looked up and saw a ram caught by its horns in a thicket. So he took the ram and sacrificed it as a burnt offering in place of his son. 14 Abraham named the place Yahweh-Yireh (which means “the Lord will provide”). To this day, people still use that name as a proverb: “On the mountain of the Lord it will be provided.”

15 Then the angel of the Lord called again to Abraham from heaven. 16 “This is what the Lord says: Because you have obeyed me and have not withheld even your son, your only son, I swear by my own name that 17 I will certainly bless you. I will multiply your descendants^[a] beyond number, like the stars in the sky and the sand on the seashore. Your descendants will conquer the cities of their enemies. 18 And through your descendants all the nations of the earth will be blessed—all because you have obeyed me.”

19 Then they returned to the servants and traveled back to Beersheba, where Abraham continued to live.

I might explode... someday soon.

I hope to record some acoustic stuff this weekend. Soooo stoked.

Also, I have a date tomorrow (slash tonight). Soooo freaking stoked.

It's so strange and new to even think about dating again. To be excited about seeing someone. Butterflies and all that.

There's that fear of being hurt, but honestly, I've been relying on God a lot to let me give a big middle finger to doubts and fears. To be alive is to feel earnestly and honestly and not to put up walls.


It's really mysterious what you write a song about. It's something that you need to internalize. It's the stuff that you mull over for a few weeks. At least it is for me. I think about an Idea or a feeling or a few lines that seem to fit and keep playing the same riffs and chords over and over again until something happens. Like "Under a tree, Wrapped in blankets" for example. I played those same two chords of the verse over and over again for a few weeks singing some mumbles about eyes being closed. And then I went home one night and said, I'd like to picture my perfect day, and I saw it, and wrote it.

Some songs are after internalizing scripture, or some big truth. Some are just scared feelings.

Anyways. Work in the morning. I'm going to quit my job at Liberty either in December or January. I get so anxious when thinking about if I'm committing fiscal suicide, but I have to find somewhere that doesn't kill me slowly everyday. Also, I think it's gonna be good. To not have to work till 9pm every night.

Thanksgiving is coming up. I'm going to go up to PA to see Dad and Kathy and Nick.

I'm just so tired but so worked up. It's like the night before a road trip or final exams.

Jeremiah 17:14
Heal me, O LORD, and I will be healed; save me and I will be saved, for you are the one I praise.

What Do You Go Home To?

Up wayyyyyyy too late again. Spent a good amount of time talking to my band-mates about where we are.

So much doubt. Am I doing the right thing? Am I jumping in head first to something I'm not prepared for? I'm afraid I can't do it. I'm afraid I won't be able to do it alone.

Just try it. Just seriously try it. Jump in and fall on your face if you need to. Have confidence, have peace. If it happens, it happens, but if not... you tried.

fumbling to make contact

Oh, work.

Had some good Sad-Eyed Bird practice yesterday. Wrote a new song. It's a newer sound for us, while still sounding like a Sad-Eyed song. Got a chance to use my new Delay pedal, which is the coolest thing. I'm stoked about the show on the 22nd.

I've been praying a lot and I feel like I'm at my wits end.

though the darkness hide Thee

Facebook.

Bah.

G'mork

padlock the door
and reach for the bottle by your bed
trust your neighbors
but sleep with a gun beneath your head

say my prayers before i sleep
but someday that wolf is gonna kill me
he will flash his eyes and gnash his teeth
and swallow me whole

like doubt that steals my soul
words that leave me cold

as long as i breathe
there's hope, or so they say
but hope's hard to see

i want to trade the ash upon my head
for oil and richer beauty
three am and a sleepless bed
and nothing seems to move me

say my prayers before i sleep
but someday that wolf is gonna kill me
he will flash his eyes and gnash his teeth
and swallow me whole

like doubt that steals my soul
words that leave me cold

I will plant companionship thick as trees along all the rivers of America, and along the shores of the great lakes, and all over the prairies;

Amherst, Ohio
You are home to me
The trees and small hills
The dark at night I was too frightened to trespass
The smell of wood and wet sawdust
And the half hour drive back to 14th street

I wonder if you are still the same
I wonder if pizza will ever taste as good again
I'd like to taste your beer and see what joy I can find in you
But regardless, thank you.

the wolf and I are now on a first name basis.

Psalm 130

My Soul Waits for the Lord

A Song of Ascents.

1Out of the depths I cry to you, O LORD!
2O Lord, hear my voice!
Let your ears be attentive
to the voice of my pleas for mercy!

3If you, O LORD, should mark iniquities,
O Lord, who could stand?
4But with you there is forgiveness,
that you may be feared.

5I wait for the LORD, my soul waits,
and in his word I hope;
6my soul waits for the Lord
more than watchmen for the morning,
more than watchmen for the morning.

7O Israel, hope in the LORD!
For with the LORD there is steadfast love,
and with him is plentiful redemption.
8And he will redeem Israel
from all his iniquities.

There's some really powerful imagery used there. There's this time between about 3 and 4 in the morning called the Hour of the Wolf. In Swedish and Finnish folklore, it's the time where demons and nightmares have the most power, and all your doubts and all your fears rush in. It's the time when the wolf waits outside your door.

I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, More than the watchmen for the morning, more than the watchmen for the morning.

I know that wolf well. I know that desperate feeling. That groaning that comes from waiting for life to make sense.


Also, this is a Song of Ascents. Taking that walk up to God's mountain. So this means hope. But the hike is a hard one. I'll write a song about it soon.